Alcohol’s Shadow: My Life in the Bottle

The Beginning: A Boy Forced to Become a Man

I was brilliant in academics, but life had other plans. When my father died in a road accident, I was not even 16. Overnight, I became the man of the house. My childhood friends went to college, while I started taking up small jobs to support my family. Evenings were spent giving tuition to earn a little extra.

Whenever I met my friends, they spoke about their college lives—skipping classes, hanging out, and alcohol parties. It fascinated me. I, too, wanted to be part of that world. To fit in, I pretended to drink, memorizing popular liquor brands to sound convincing. But the truth? I could barely afford a beer can.

My First Drink: A Moment That Changed Everything

I remember the day vividly. Two friends invited me to a beer party. My excitement knew no bounds. I had my first taste of alcohol. I didn’t like the taste at all, but I acted as if I was used to it. Just after two glasses, everything started spinning. Yet, a strange euphoria took over—I forgot my struggles and felt invincible. I drank excessively, unsure of when I would get another chance. I wanted to prove that I was a regular drinker. The night ended with me collapsing, but my friends took care of me.

This cycle continued. Whenever they invited me, I drank more than I could handle. Eventually, they started avoiding me. That rejection only fuelled my longing for alcohol. In my social circle, drinking was a symbol of status and enjoyment. The idea that drinking meant ‘having a blast’ became deeply ingrained in my mind. I was still a teenager, struggling financially, yet I longed for a carefree life.

The Unstoppable Craving: Alcohol Became My Escape

As years passed, my craving for alcohol deepened. I never missed an opportunity to drink.

One incident stands out—I travelled to another city for a job interview. The main reason? Not the job, but the freedom to drink as much as I wanted, with no one to stop me. After the interview, I drank heavily. The next day, I realized I had lost all my belongings, including my school certificates and important documents. Yet, instead of being alarmed, I brushed it off. This was my first warning from life, and I ignored it.

The Turning Point: Alcohol Became My Identity

In 2010, at 25, I secured a stable job in another city. I saw it as my golden chance to live life on my terms. I was financially independent, far from family restrictions. I decided to drink as much as I wanted. Within months, I was drinking daily, often alone. Holidays meant drinking in the daytime. I got the reputation of being an “Ultimate Alcoholic.” I even needed a couple of drinks before social gatherings to feel confident.

By the time I got married in 2013, alcohol was my constant companion. It was no longer a habit—it was an obsession.

The Hidden Wreckage: How Alcohol Destroyed My Life

Looking back, I now realize the extent of the damage:

1. Personal Life: Broken Trust & Lost Identity

Alcohol made me unreliable. I lied frequently—often promising things in a drunken state that I never followed through on. I missed countless precious moments with my family. I forgot who I truly was, always pretending to be someone I wasn’t. People who once trusted me started distancing themselves. Friends would say, “He’s an extreme alcoholic; don’t trust him.”

2. Career & Finances: The Illusion of Control

Alcohol gave me false confidence. I bragged to my superiors about handling big projects, but when assigned work, I often failed to deliver. My professional credibility suffered. I spent recklessly, living in an illusion of financial stability. I made poor decisions and paid the price.

3. Health: My Body Begged for Help

The morning headaches, fatigue, and sluggishness were constant. I ignored the warning signs. Physical discomfort—stomach pain, fatigue, loss of appetite—was frequent. My mother and wife insisted I see a doctor. Every visit ended with the same diagnosis: Fatty liver. I took medicines for a while, but old habits won every time.

4. The Inner Struggle

The morning headaches, sluggishness, and exhaustion became my reality. My body begged me to stop, but I drowned its cries in alcohol. Every morning, I promised myself I’d quit, only to find myself drinking again by evening. I screamed at myself, pleaded, “Please stop killing me,” but I was powerless.

A Love I Still Miss: The Uncomfortable Truth

I won’t lie. Even today, in my forties, I sometimes miss those blackouts. It was fun—until it wasn’t. If only I had controlled it in time.

With a heavy heart, I admit that alcohol wasn’t just a bad habit. It was a wrecking ball that shattered everything in its path.

This isn’t a story about sobriety—not yet. This is a story of realization. A moment of looking in the mirror and finally seeing what I had become.

If This Feels Familiar, Take This as Your Warning

If you recognize even a small part of your life in these words, let me tell you this:

Alcohol doesn’t start as a problem. It starts as an escape. And before you know it, the escape becomes the trap.

I didn’t see it coming. And that’s the scariest part. The next part of my story? That’s for another day. But for now, I leave you with this—will you wait for rock bottom, or will you take back control before it’s too late?